Tuesday Shirt - 11/17/2009

Tuesday Shirt - 11/17/2009, originally uploaded by KDavidClark.

People have asked me, "How do you keep Tuesday Shirt looking so awesome?" The answer is, "With intrepid dedication."

I leave the house at 4:15am each Tuesday to access its storage pod. Tuesday Shirt is held at a secure Cold War-era facility in Kent's West Valley, a vast enigmatic warehouse whose street address falls outside the county's standard numbering system - I can neither confirm nor deny the CIA's involvement in such affairs. The perimeter of the building is dotted with guard poodles, trained specifically to protect the inventories of the finest design houses in Paris and Berlin. Security at the building is based on the chaotic algorithms of noted British mathematician Warrick Safro-Ensely, and requires a conference call of three doctoral candidates from WSU to agree on a 14-digit pin code related to Ensely's methods.

Once access is granted, I follow the corridor to Level 17B; there is no A, and its absence will not be discussed until 2049. The Storage Pod is hyperberic and also attached to a standalone HVAC unit that is serviced by Army specialists instead of the building's facilities team. This system is designed to maintain the fabric continuity for up to 235 years. Direct access to the pod is with simple lock and key, only there are three keys in varied colors - with a certain sequence of implementation that I cannot go into at this time. Tuesday Shirt is then taken to the Duty Presser on Level 14F before being placed in its travel pod for transport back to Bellevue.

At the end of the day, this procedure is repeated in reverse. Tuesday Shirt is once again safe from harm and decay for another week.


...Okay, actually I lied. Tuesday Shirt is stored on a hanger in the closet, next to Sherry's Flag Corps uniform from high school.