Running - Cement, Tree Worms, and a 70s Van

As I get thinner, my headphones get larger!

I remember a Nike commercial from the late 1980s, where a runner got up early, put on her threads, stretched out, and then opened the front door to hit the road...only to be greeted by pouring rain. The commercial was made to look like she was going to close the door and stay inside, but then she dutifully grabs a jacket off a hook and goes out into the rain anyway.

"Just Do It."

This morning I awoke for no good reason at 4:15am, and my head felt like it was filled with cement. It took the better part of an hour - and two cups of hot coffee - before it finally started to clear. Even so, my lungs still felt constricted and a bit wheezy. But wheezing is merely a roadblock. A quick whiff from the asthma inhaler, and breathing became mostly normal again. Certainly, it's not the way to start the day when there is running on the agenda!

How true that was this morning...

While the cement-head condition started to really ease up when I hit the road, my lungs started resisting any activity. With that I knew it wasn't going to be a good idea to run. The body's message was, "If you run at all today, you will be coughing for a month." So I didn't run. Walking is still good to do, and at least helps to maintain some level of activity. It still felt great, and helped me metabolize the Turkey potluck we had at work yesterday. Besides, being slightly under the weather gives me more opportunity to provide readers with a cellphone depiction of the world around me. And we start with Tree Worms:

These are all over the ground after a recent wind storm. They're banana shaped, flexible, and fall apart easily when handled. When there's a dozen or so, it just looks like debris. But when there are hundreds, it feels like I'm in a scene from Body Snatchers. Look at the picture above long enough, and they start to move like giant mutated photo-synthesized larva. Invasions by creatures made of plant matter make for the scariest movies, and at this point my neighborhood is being overtaken by...umm...what are they? They drop from trees, but I can't call them acorns. Can't even call them pine cones. So what do I call them? I'll just settle on Tree Worms.

"Breaker One-Eight...this is Maw-N-Paws Playpen...Red Rosie, you copy?"

"10-2 Playpen. What's your 20 big stud?"

"I'm 24 and heading back to base. Scored me some tickets. Break out the Boones Farm baby, `cause we're taking the Playpen to the Frampton concert!"

"10-4 Playpen! Get me a carton of Virginia Slims on the way. Red Rosie out."

I've been eye-balling this piece of history now for nearly two decades, and decided this was the morning to archive it for perpetuity. This vehicle speaks volumes on behalf of a different era, when vans were all the rage and their drivers were all drunk. And what's more Dollar-Store Disco than a 70s-era Ford Van with mismatched doors? How about if that same van was Four Wheel Drive? Yeah...album-rock tinged, top-heavy off-road action that brings Vanning to a whole new level. This three-ton behemobile will haul anything, anywhere - at the price of 5-6mpg. The insides, while currently used for a carpeting business on this rig, could easily be converted to shag and and swivel chairs. A vaguely risque wall hanging, in between the "hot and cool" ends of the van, can separate the cockpit from the lovepit. Oh...and don't forget the mini-fridge for the Boones or the Bartels & James. Empty spot by the back door for the pony keg? No prob; just add a bathroom hook to hang the tap, Chief. Plastic bubbled-out side windows in the shape of any card suit - Spade is probably the most appropriate - add to this machine's classy playfulness.

It's Wicked!

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Blog Link: http://www.clarkblog.net/search/label/Running